What's missing?
Today's journaling prompt: What do I feel I am currently lacking in my life? What do I need more of?
Years ago, not so much that many, I would have had a list of things to say were missing. A partner or being married, my own children, feeling complete, and well, love. I used to say "Good-bye to Love" (By my girl Karen) was my theme song. I would listen to those words and take each word in as if the song were written for me. On two occasions in my life, I wrote about this song and what I learned. Here I share those words with you:
Driving to work today I was listening to Karen Carpenter (it's a shock I know). Good-bye to love came on and I was listening to the lyrics remembering the post I made last year of how that used to be my theme song but then I realized I have never said goodbye to love. With all the love in my world I am surrounded by it and never "have to live without it". Then I wondered if Karen had ever come to that conclusion herself, would she be alive today? It's a moot point but it crossed my mind and it made me thankful that somewhere along the line I woke up and said "No tomorrows for this heart of mine?" I have every tomorrow as long as I wake up. I have every chance to experience love in many forms. My friends, my family, my precious nephew, my niece, my pups....and the list goes on and on. I'm sorry you felt you had to say goodbye to love Karen, if anyone deserved to be so wholeheartedly loved, it was you. Sad thing is you were.....as I am. Grateful today and every day for the love that surrounds me and keeps me afloat in this crazy world. May you all have a peaceful day today.
The second was such: I came to a pretty amazing realization the other day. I have always said that my theme song was Karen's "Good-bye to love". Being single, relationships never working out, seeming like I'd never find love, I thought for many years her words rang true "I'll say good-bye to love, no one ever cared if I should live or die. Time and time again the chance for love has passed me by and all I know of love is how to live without it, I just can't seem to find it..." and you know the rest of the song. But the other day it hit me, that's not my theme song. Not at all. And I have learned something really important over the course of the year by doing gratitude and reaching out. I have love. I'm single, but I absolutely have love in my life. So much that sometimes it overwhelms me. I am not alone. And mostly I am not lonely. Maybe when I'm home sick I might feel a little alone, but even then, there are so many people who offer to help me, to bring me things, take care of my dogs, make sure I am okay, that I know I'm not alone. And I've also grown to appreciate myself, who I am and how I am. It's an amazing thing to suddenly step back and think after all these years, I don't have to say good-bye to love, I have a ton of it in my life. I could not be more blessed even if I had someone in my life. My life is good, and I have love. I wonder, maybe, just maybe if Karen realized she had love too, that she was so loved by so many, maybe she would still be here today. We'll never know. But what I do know, is I think I'll change my theme song from Good-bye to love to Karen's Look to your dreams. It's a pretty inspirational song, as she was to me, as she IS to me and really to keep dreaming, means you keep trying and you keep reaching. And that's what I plan to do going forward. I'll keep dreaming, keep trying, and keep reaching. There's still a lot of life to live and it's never to late to be what you want to be. Thank you all for your love.
I share all this because the answer to the question of "What's missing, (besides my glasses that is) what do I need more of...?" My answer is simply nothing. I have everything I could ever want. I am blessed, loved, and a very full life. Truly the only thing that's missing for me, is Sammy and Clover. But in all honesty, they're not missing. They're here, just not in physical form. I am grateful on this day before Thanksgiving that I don't want for anything and I am content with my life as it is. I truly am blessed.