A Blog because of my Dog
Because you don't "just get over it" when you lose your dog.
I am not in a profession where I work with animals. I'm not a licensed social worker. I am someone who has lost my dog and is grieving. These pages are written from my experiences and my heartbreak that I am choosing to share with others.
When Clover died on August 1, 2020 my heart was shattered. I was so lost, so sad, and so displaced. I still have Bella, but she's not Clover and having another dog does not make losing one any easier. In fact, it can be upsetting as they don't do the things the dog you lost does. For example, when I cried Clover would come out of nowhere to kiss my tears away. Bella just sits and looks at me and it was hard to accept that Bella would never kiss my tears away. It's never been who she is, it never will be and I had to learn to accept that.
About three weeks after Clover died, I was feeding Bella. She was in the kitchen with me barking at me, as she always does, for me to get dinner ready in a hurry. I looked at her and said "I'm going as fast as I can you know. Your sister would be standing here too, but she would only be twirling and quietly whining." That's when it hit me. That's when it REALLY sunk in. It was one of those bitch slaps that grief can give you. I was barely able to get Bella her dinner until I fell completely apart. I shut my windows and doors and I knew this was going to be ugly. I had been here before. I then just started sobbing and wailing uncontrollably repeating over and over "I want my dog back, I want MY dog back." But I knew she was gone now and never coming back. I sunk into a deep depression. Thank God for really good friends and for Bella. Bella made me get up. She needed her walks and she needed to eat. I posted on my support group, I talked to people who understood, and I created a video. Nothing was helping.
Then one night I googled "Creating your own blog" and I found myself here. I found myself writing a blog about my dog. About Clover and Sammy. I kept thinking of ideas of what I could write and what I could share. Then I thought maybe it's possible I can help others who are going through this too. Maybe I can help others feel not so alone. I focused my grief into creating this blog and found myself remembering good things about both my babies. I found a release for my grief and my pain and I found myself coming out of the dark. Maybe no one will read this blog. Maybe they will, I hope people will and also share about their fur babies. What I do know is writing about this has given me an outlet for my pain, a way to share about Clover, and a way to reach out to others who may be having a hard time too. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. To read more, please click the menu bar and choose any section to join me on my journeys. I hope that it will bring comfort to some of you reading this and help you know that you aren't alone in your sorrow and loss.