Before the goodbye,

there was the hello 

and everything in between.

Anyone who has ever loved a pet knows the one inevitable heartbreak is having to say good-bye.. If we're blessed, we don't have to do that for many years but we never know for sure how long we have. I never imagined when I found my sweet four leaf Clover that I would lose her on August 1, 2020 after only 8 years. Well, 8 years, 5 months, and 20 days to be exact, but who's counting? I am thankful that after the hello until the good-bye there were years of joy and fun in between.

I met Clover back in February of 2012. She was completely unexpected. If she were a pregnancy, she most surely would have been a whoops. The animal shelter was literally across the street from where I worked. I had been there many times over the course of the three years they were there to make donations and I always stopped to say hello to the puppies. This particular day, I had just finished staff meeting and I meandered over to drop off a donation for a silent auction. The shelter was moving and would no longer be a stone's throw from me so I decided it would be easier to drop off the donation while they were still there. Once I had done so, I asked if I could go see the puppies and was brought out back where there were a few dogs, but my eyes locked on "Fadua". She was all of 6 pounds and just as cute as could be. I stood there so long just staring at her that the shelter staff asked "Would you like to hold her?" I knew I would be in trouble if I did. "Yes, please". She let me in and I held the dog and she just started giving me kisses non stop. The shelter worker looked at me and said "I haven't seen her do that with anyone else". By this time, my staff had wandered over as I had been gone so long and she said "I thought something was up". She snapped a couple of pictures and said "She's yours, bring her home". I had to wait a day to bring my then two year old Silky terrier up to meet her, but on February 11, 2012 Fadua, renamed Clover, came home with me and immediately won everyone over. well except Bella. she needed A couple of weeks to get her nose out of joint because she wasn't an only child anymore.

Clover was shy at first. After all, she was on the streets of Puerto Rico fighting to stay alive at a whole whopping 6 pounds. In her paperwork the rescue writes "Fadua was saved from certain death" by one of their workers who found her behind a men's shelter no doubt trying to get food. She was unsure of Bella at first, but then one day, after a couple of weeks, Clover picked up a ball, went over to Bella, squeaked it in her face, and they began to play. They became instant friends. With Bella by her side being a protector and myself taking her to training, introducing her to lots of other dogs and people, Clover eventually grew more confident and sure of herself. So much so this sweet little girl had been attacked by two different dogs (at different times) and STILL approached strange dogs. But that was Clover. She loved life. She loved to explore, run, swim, play, and chew on her antlers. Clover made the best of life no matter what was handed to her. By far her favorite thing ever was to run free. She never left the area where we were. Even when we were in the back yard, she would never meander out of the yard (unless Bella was a bad influence) and letting her off leash was safe to do. She would run and run until she was too tired to run and then she'd run some more. She was just happy. And forget it when it snowed. She couldn't wait to go outside and play. She loved the cold. She'd stay out there forever if I didn't make her come in. And as much as she loved the cold, she also loved the water. She'd go into the water up until her chest and explore. She taught Bella how to play at the beach because Bella used to hate the water and be afraid of it, but in no time at all Clover showed Bella what fun it was. If I wish I had done one thing more often, it would be to have taken her to the beach more.

Clover just had a zest for life. All she ever wanted was to run, eat, drink, and have a safe place to sleep. She loved food so I had to make sure she didn't eat her weight in treats. Watermelon was among her favorite foods. She'd sit ever so patiently while I would cut it up to give it to her. She never begged, but she never turned down the opportunity to have a snack. Kind of like Scooby Doo.There was so much stuff that we experienced in her little life. I could go on and on. I guess what I'm thinking is that there is a hello and there is a dreaded good-bye and the only thing that really will help carry you through that good-bye is all the stuff in between. One of the things I learned after losing my Yorkie was to make sure I took lots of pictures and lots of videos. Watching the videos can be hard at times but other times I think "That was my dog. She was mine. I couldn't have been more blessed"

She truly loved the life she had. I'm sure she had no regrets. I honestly believe if she could talk after her first episode of CHF she would have said:

"Mama, I've had a good life. It's not been super long but that's okay because it's been so filled with love, joy and all the things a dog could want. But now that I can't run or swim like I used to or frolic in the snow, or go for long walks with you and Bella without a carriage, I don't think I'll be happy so it's time for my next leg of the journey. I love you and Bella and everyone really and I know you'll be sad but I'll be in a much better place not struggling to breathe and my heart won't be pounding out of my chest anymore. I am ready". I would simply tell her back "Even though I'm not ready Clover, I know you are. I know you're uncomfortable and it's only going to get worse. I won't let you suffer and not be able to breathe because I don't want to let go. I think it's the ultimate way to pay back all the love and loyalty you gave me is by letting you run free again.".

So I let you go my girl but just so you know I will miss you every day until we meet again. Thank you for the hello. Thank you for letting me love you until the good bye, but most of all thank you for everything in between.